DOG BOY - EPISODE 2

Dinner ended up being quite nice and unexpectedly romantic. Kevin had suggested a new restaurant surrounded by vineyards and offered that we stay afterwards for their ‘Music by Moonlight’ concert. The place was on the outskirts of town surrounded by country, and ironically, had lots of acreage for a dog to play. I had to bite my cheek when I saw the “Dog Friendly Patio” sign prominently posted.

Kevin pulled up a few minutes later and seemed relieved when he spotted me. He’s got this boyish charm mixed with a boyish insecurity, but refreshingly does not hide his joy that the girl said yes. I notice he’s changed clothes and is looking quite dapper. He has beautiful green eyes and wears glasses which perfectly compliment a bookish handsomeness. His dark, curly hair is tousled just so, the kind of hair that makes you want to run your fingers through it, or pull it a bit. Ahem. He’s really good looking which I hadn’t fully noticed earlier since I was busy dodging and defending my privates from Herman the Dog.

He looks wistfully about and just can’t seem to help himself when he says, “Herman loves it here! I hope he wasn’t too upset being left alone at home. I’ll bring him out here soon.” He then tells me all about getting him as a puppy, that he’s a purebred Rhodesian Ridgeback without the ridge, he’s still a puppy even though he’s three, how naughty he is destroying the couch twice after two years of training, but what a great dog. I just kind of look at him blinkingly not sure what to make of this rapid fire second introduction. He then seems to catch himself and quickly compliments me on how nice I look.

A man walks up to us as we’re standing in the patio area and gives Kevin a big bear hug. I’m a bit relieved at the interruption and thought the man was going to do the actual hair tousling but maybe he restrained himself because I was there. He introduces himself, compliments me profusely as he chides Kevin, and I do the ‘oh stop, go on’ giggle. It’s the owner, he and Kevin are buddies, and insists we join him after dinner for the concert. We are then whisked off to a romantic table already topped with a cheese plate and bottle of chilled wine. Nice.

Kevin is all gentleman as he pulls out my chair, offers to send back the wine if I would prefer something else, and checks to make sure I like cheese. I joke that I would never send back wine and of course I like cheese! We laugh and his hesitancy falls away. He orders for us, with my permission of course, and keeps the wine flowing. We skip the dating HR interview and dive right into worldly affairs, politics, and philosophy. He’s doing most of the talking and I’m enjoying the intellectual conversation as he seems to know a lot of things about a lot of things. He’s entertaining, insightful, and funny. His sudden self assuredness and take charge attitude is refreshing. Is this the same Dog Boy, I mean guy I met at the coffee shop?

He tells me all about his family. Mother a Psychiatrist, dad a PhD, that he grew up privileged but had his struggles when they divorced. He wants me to meet his mother and predicts we will be best friends and how about I come to his house so he can cook for us. Wait, what? He suggests we can go for a hike on the trails behind his house, that he’s an amazing cook, sheepishly explains he’s been taking some time off, a sabbatical of sorts, and deciding on his next move. But don’t worry, he’s doing fine financially, has a great house, travels, plays soccer, that the love of his life is his amazing dog and that dogs never leave you unlike beautiful women like me. Wait, huh?

After dinner, he grabs the now second bottle of wine, grabs my hand, and we head over to the outdoor concert. We have two chairs being held for us in the front row and the waiter has followed with two fresh wine glasses. It’s good to have friends who own restaurants. It’s a beautiful night, the stars are out, and the small symphony begins to play Mozart. This guy is good. He jokingly goes to drink out of the bottle but instead pours us another glass which I politely refuse. He insists. I’m trying to be quiet during the lovely concert so I pour it into the grass when no one’s looking. I’ve had two which is plenty, I have to drive, and I’m now doing the math thinking he’s not even tipsy but still remind him he has to drive too. He instantly agrees, says he’s charmed by my sensibility, and orders waters for us. We enjoy the concert as he pulls me closer, and I let him.

A short while later, he suggests we stroll the grounds. I figure here comes the move and get a little nervous and hesitant, but Kevin continues to be a perfect gentleman as he shows me the restaurant’s small vegetable garden. He crushes up a few leaves from the different herbs for me to smell and again invites me to his house for dinner. He proudly says he’ll make rosemary chicken and reminds me what a great cook he is. The wine has me a bit swirly. I can’t help but think what a nice date this has been and was made even better because it was all so unexpected. Sure, it started off a bit odd and he’s a little quirky, but maybe it’s just nerves. What could go wrong on a second date? He says I have beautiful hair as he strokes back some strands that have fallen into my face and as I look up at him, he acknowledges the body language ‘come on in’ I’m giving and softly comes in for a kiss.

DOG BOY - EPISODE 3
COMING SOON!

DOG BOY - EPISODE 1

‘Dog Boy’ is flirty and fun in his emails and after a few days of banter, asks me to dinner. He suggests sushi for Friday night and after my last date with Mashed Potato Head at TGIF’s, he gets a bonus point. On the morning of our dinner date, he asks if we can instead meet for coffee. Said bonus point gets retracted. I ask why and he offer, “Let’s see how it goes and then maybe we can grab dinner afterwards.”

Right. He wants me to audition.  It’s the ‘do you look like your online pictures, but I would never judge you based on looks, but I need to make sure you look good’ kind of thing. I can’t resist a little in your face buddy, so I throw on a sexy dress and heels, pouf the hair, do the makeup, and apply an extra spritz of the good perfume…for coffee.  

I drive up to Starbucks right at five and spot him sitting outside. I guess he’s waiting for me before going in? I watch him for a bit from my car, a little surveillance never hurts. He’s reading a paperback and seems normal enough. I mean, he doesn’t have two heads and he's actually cute! 

I wonder about the coffee switchero move but figure he’s been burned before. It happens. I showed up to a date once with a man who lied about his age…by 19 years. He didn’t even acknowledge the ‘error’ until I tactfully brought it up while trying to minimize my slight shock and absolute horror. He said I would never have agreed to meet him since he’s out of my preferred age range. I explain that would have been my prerogative. This needs an explanation? 

He brushes off my prerogative with a laugh and orders a bottle of champagne. Oh, bubbles!  In that case, all is forgiven and here are my panties. I ask bluntly if he would date an 80-year-old woman.  He bellows and immediately chortles “No way!”  I stare blankly at him waiting to see if he’s capable of the point, or the math. He tries to change the subject by telling me all about how young at heart he is, but I insist he instead tell me what 61 plus 19 equals. I say I have no problem with older men, but I do have a problem with liars, slug back the glass of champagne, and leave.

Back at the Starbucks. After a few minutes, I saunter up the parking lot to the patio. Yep, saunter. Dog Boy drops his jaw and visibly begins to twitch. He jumps up, blurts out ‘Hi, I’m Kevin!’ and immediately asks if I’m hungry, would I like to go to dinner, and let’s go…all in rapid fire succession as I’m introducing myself. I say, “Let’s start with coffee.” 

He falls over himself apologizing for ever suggesting coffee and offers to go inside and get whatever I would like. Too bad we’re not at Tiffany’s. He comes back outside, lattes in hand, and starts fast talking. He shyly explains that sometimes his online dates show up and don’t exactly look like their pictures. I wink and remark how hot my coffee is as I blow seductively and sip with glossy pursed lips. 

So, why the nickname Dog Boy you wonder? Well, Dog Boy brought his dog to our lil coffee date. A big, hairy, slightly smelly dog who has been trying to make out with me since I walked up. Now, I love dogs as much as the next gal, but is this cool?  He certainly didn’t warn me, suggest it, or consider my take on the matter. What if I were deathly afraid of dogs or allergic or felt slobber, fur, and wet dog smell didn’t go with my outfit?

I ask hypothetically how would we have gone to dinner with his dog. He jokingly says “Dog? What dog?” but I’m not laughing and then he offers to drop the dog off at his home. I ask why would he bring a dog unless we were in a park or doing something where the added company might be appropriate. He says sometimes his dates don’t show up so he brings a book and his dog for company. Sigh.

He’s sweet and earnest and a bit rumpled, Kevin that is. Speaking of dogs, I sense he’s the puppy dog type which unfortunately , I’m a sucker for. But damn, it’s hot and sticky outside and I would much prefer being inside like everyone else as I notice we’re the only idiots out in this humid broiler of a parking lot. But the dog is cute and does that adorably irresistible head from side to side thing where it looks like they’re asking you a question. He’s asking me what’s the big deal and look how cute I am. I relent, dodge the still insistent tongue…of the dog, not Kevin, and try to make conversation. And then, as if on cue, it begins to rain which I know immediately is God and his cronies ribbing me on another one of my famous dates.  

The kicker, as if I needed one, is that Dog Boy is completely and possibly inappropriately in love with his dog. I’m not sure if he’s trying to date me or the dog. He hugs and kisses the dog repeatedly, remarks “Oh, he likes you!” when the dog sniffs my privates, and has the dog sit on his lap. It’s a big dog. He then starts baby talking and wrestling the dog which makes the dog even more hyper which Dog Boy seems to enjoy and encourages with a repeated “Good boy, good boy, that’s my boy!”

As they’re French kissing on the patio, dog slobber flying, he tells me, “Dude, I love my dog.” I’m not sure what is worse, the dog love or him calling me Dude. Alas, it is a funny albeit sweet scene and I’m as much an animal lover as the next dude. I actually have nothing against dogs and feel a warmth inside when Kevin tells me the name of his dog. Herman. Herman? Herman. We finish our coffee and Kevin earnestly apologizes and asks me to please let him make it up to me with dinner. He suggests a lovely place with it’s own vineyard which I’ve been wanting to try. I accept and we agree to meet at the restaurant since he needs to swing by his place and drop off dear sweet slobbery Herman. I watch them play chase each other fondly to his car as I dry off from the rain and/or slobber and sticky roller my dress.

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